Update

So it's been a while since I've posted a blog and some time has now passed waiting for my admitting day to come. It is now Saturday and I am being admitted most likely this Monday evening since where I'm having my transplant done is Florida Hospital here in Orlando where they have limited number of rooms for transplant patients, there is only 16 rooms! They're always full as unfortunately the list of people expecting or awaiting to do a transplant is growing each day.

My last session of chemo was March 16th and then I had 3 weeks to kill time and "vacation" meaning eat whatever I want, do whatever I want under 2 conditions: don't get sick and don't get pregnant or as my nurse practitioner (NP) likes to phrase it "if you get pregnant, I'll kill you!". Of course she says it with a sense of humor (please don't get upset lol). I was lucky enough to have my birthday to celebrate outside of the hospital, one of my worries when this first started was when they said they were looking originally to admit me mid-March and be in the hospital for 3 weeks meaning I would be in the hospital for my birthday. Luckily admitting day was pushed to April 6th. Since then I've been trying to live it up, been eating every craving that hits my stomach from sushi to the best tripleta sandwich in my opinion from La Tripleta Truck on OBT to going window-shopping at the mall. Post-transplant I'll be confined to the comforts of my home as I will not have an immune system meaning if I was to get sick my body won't know what to do. I will be like a newborn baby and I have to wait a year after my transplant anniversary to re-do all of my vaccines from childhood. I'll also be on a limited diet for some time: no fresh veggies or fruits, no sushi, no foods from food trucks or restaurants and definitely no buffets.

For now I've just been planning all the activities and trips I want to go on once I get the green light from my doctors in regards to traveling and going out. I've also been finding hobbies here and there to keep me occupied like arts and crafts, I've really gotten into painting and decorating things. And of course I'll try to keep up with my blogging and keeping everyone informed on how I'm doing and what's new.

The actual day of my transplant will be April 15th, this is the day I will get my cells back that they had collected previously and harvested, they call it "Day 0". I'm really hoping that all of this works and goes well. Going through this process has sucked, all the meds I get and I always hate the side effects or feelings I get because of them. When I went to visit my transplant doctor this past week the talk of relapse came about and although I want to hear the possibilities and the "what if's" at the same time I get scared and worried. Like any other cancer patient/survivor the thought of recurrence is always in the back of your head. A mild headache can even freak you out to think "Is the cancer back?". My transplant doctor was very honest which I appreciated him for it as sometimes doctors don't like to be or avoid telling you things so that you don't freak out. I was told that if this transplant doesn't work a donor transplant would now come into play and that is a whole different ball game. The percentage of mortality from a donor transplant is 30-40% due to the 3 factors of the actual cancer killing me, the donor's cells attacking my body and/or by infection because I will have a low immune system. This was a lot to take in and I'm really hoping that this does work as I've seen and heard both sides people who survive through it and enter remission for the rest of their lives and people who unfortunately get scheduled for another transplant due to recurrence. Also there was talk of continuing chemo post-transplant as a precaution for about a year to a year and a half.

I'm definitely looking forward to the light that is at the end of this LOOOOONG tunnel. I'm looking forward to getting back to work even though as much as people complain about working and the long hours I just miss the interaction with normal people. I'm looking forward to the many trips that I plan on taking around the US and world. Finally I'm just looking forward to getting back my life cancer-free. It's been a long journey for me and unfortunately I'm starting to get tired of everything. I'm getting tired of the pity, the looks and stares, the side effects of medications, not being able to do certain things. My mom always tells me that I will have more than enough time after this to do whatever I want when I want but I'm tired of waiting for that. Right now is the time I see so  many people my age living life, graduating college, traveling the world while I'm stuck at home flushing my tri-fusion catheter line and making sure it doesn't get infected or clogged. No one else I know is worrying about medical crap like this that is not actually going to school for it or works in the field.

For now I'll just continue to dream about how I will one day be living my life post-cancer. Once again I will continue to keep everyone updated. I'll try to post on either Monday or Tuesday in regards to how it went for me at the hospital and getting settled. I'll also be starting chemo again on Tuesday, they will be giving me a new regimen which is a lot more aggressive to help get rid of any and all cancer cells that are still lingering.

Thank you for reading!

-Jennifer :)